Hone your Sparkle

Often times when we are asked to name something we like or appreciate about someone else, we can do it. Sometimes we can even name many things. Recently on the Working your Worth Webinar session one that I held participants were asked to name something they loved about Michelle Obama. Everyone could instantly think of the endless list of the things they loved about this shero. Of course, it was not challenging at all!

But, how come when we are then asked the same question about ourselves, our mind often goes blank or we can only think of a few things? If this is the case, it’s time to Hone your Sparkle! Take some time to build up your self-esteem and even your self-efficacy through identifying your strengths and positive attributes.

Need some help? No worries, use some of the tools below to help you Hone your Sparkle!

1 . Reflection Time

Sometimes the best way to learn what you like about yourself is to reflect through journaling! Walk through experiences and moments that you admire how you acted. Pretend you are looking at those experiences through he lens of someone else. What positive characteristics did you notice being used?

2 . Walk through the ABCs!

Identify a characteristic or adjective that begins with each letter of the alphabet to support you in building a toolkit that reminds you of how much sparkle you do hold! Here is a worksheet to help you do this.

3 . Phone a Friend

Be intentional around who you seek clarity from when asking others about your strengths or positive traits they might see in you. Let’s be honest, we can sometimes be guilty of having friendships that are destructive rather than uplifting or energizing. (Issa Rae’s Insecure is a great depiction of this!) So before you ask a friend or loved one to help you identify positive characteristics, ensure it’s someone who holds your best interest at heart, it’s someone who will communicate with you in a way that is healthy and empowers you, and it’s someone who sees you from a clear and whole lens rather than through a lens of their own personal insecurities.

4 . Affirm Yourself!

While making a list of things you like about yourself, turn them into affirmations! Start off with a list of ten and turn them into affirmations to repeat in your morning and evening routine by adding “I am” or “I” in front of them. Need some help with affirmations? Check out the app ThinkUp for support!

5. Grace

Lastly, offer yourself the same patience and grace that is often easier to give to other people. Identify ways to empower yourself during your healing journey such as redirecting negative self-talk in the moment without shaming or guilting yourself. Our healing journeys are not instant, and apart of self-love is learning to love ourselves in each point of our journey.

Have other things that have helped you Hone your Sparkle? Share them in a comment below or to us on social media at Sis Everyone Needs Therapy!

About Alyssa McCall

Alyssa is a psychotherapist in the Washington, DC Metro Area. Her research specializes in raising career self efficacy and self esteem in women of color as well as media's impact on these items.


  1. Your article is very nice thanks. Lissi Davon Holli

  2. Excellent article. I am going through a few of these issues as well.. Harmony Othello Reiner

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